I found this 'select-a-crew guide' in a club newsletter from 1976, when it had been cribbed from the Scorpion newsletter. It's probably appeared in a few other places since, but I thought it bore repeating, with a few adaptations...
Could this have anything to do with the modern preference for single-handers?
|Performance Factors||Far Exceeds Job Requirements||Exceeds Job Requirements||Meets Job Requirements||Needs Some Improvement||Does Not Meet Job Requirements|
|Ability ||Leaps up mast with a single bound ||Must take a running start to leap up mast ||Can only reach up mast when standing on foredeck ||Crashes off foredeck attempting to reach mast ||Cannot recognise mast much less leap up one |
|Speed ||Faster than light ||Faster than a bullet||As fast as a bullet ||Would you believe a slow bullet||Shoots self in foot |
|Perseverance ||Stronger than an elephant ||Stronger than a bull ||As strong as a bull ||Thinks like a bull ||Smells like a bull |
|Resourcefulness ||Walks on water occasionally ||Walks on water in an emergency ||Washes with water ||Drinks water ||Passes water in an emergency |
|Communications ||Talks with race organiser ||Talks with rescue boat crews ||Talks to himself ||Argues with himself ||Loses argument with himself |
|Organising Ability ||Runs the sailing club ||Would like to run the sailing club ||Sells tickets for the club draw ||Buys tickets for the club draw || Couldn't run a bath |
|Sailing Skill || Wins every race he enters ||Wins every club race ||Once had a first place in an open ||Doesn't understand course ||Hasn't read course |
|Application to Duty ||Rigs boat before helm arrives ||Helps rig boat ||Buys his round at the bar ||Drinks beer bought by others ||Drinks other people's beer |
|Capacity for Development ||Thinks he can helm best ||Wants to helm ||Helms in an emergency ||Intelligent ballast ||Dead Weight |